What is the job of the groomsman? What is the job of the usher? Are they one and the same? And what about the best man?
If you’re planning your wedding, these very thoughts may be running through your head. Don’t despair. Although wedding etiquette states that these roles are separate, it’s not written in stone, so feel free to let the job descriptions blur a little, after all, it’s your wedding. But if you still feel confused, continue reading for some helpful clarification.
The Usher
Typically, the job of the usher is to seat the guests, hand out programs, and tie up any miscellaneous loose ends concerning the overall flow of the wedding. Since the usher is the official “greeter” so to speak, when escorting guests to their seats, he should ask if they are a guest of the bride or the groom, and make some casual, polite conversation along the way. The usher should know the lay of the land, meaning which side of the church or hall is designated for guests of the bride or guests of the groom, and seat them accordingly. Also, just before the ceremony begins, two ushers seat the mother of the groom and the mother of the bride. When the ceremony is over, these gentlemen escort them out.
The Groomsman
The groomsman is responsible for helping the bride’s mother with any last minute things that might occur once she has arrived at the wedding site. He rolls out the aisle runner just before the bride makes her way down the aisle and, traditionally, arranges the bridesmaids’ transportation to the wedding. When the ceremony is over, he is responsible for ensuring no one is left behind. Groomsmen can serve as ushers, too.
The Best Man
The best man (or head groomsman) is an important player, truly the groom’s “right-hand man.” He shoulders the daunting task of making sure the wedding happens without a glitch. He remains calm, cool, and collected at all times and never loses his sense of humor. He takes the lead in organizing the bachelor party and oversees the fitting and pickup of the formalwear. In addition, his duties include supervising the groomsmen and ushers, acting as an official witness, keeper of the rings and marriage license, and paying the officiant (after the groom discreetly slips him the check.)
His duties continue at the reception where he acts as master of ceremonies and is first to toast the newly wedded couple. His final act as best man is to return the formalwear.
These are the roles defined by wedding etiquette, but, bending the rules here is always acceptable and quite common. As long as the bride and groom show up, that’s all that really matters!
Tags:
wedding etiquette
groomsmen
usher
best man
wedding attendents
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