In early September, I wrote a blog article referencing a friend's spectacular beachside wedding, complimenting her family on all of their creative handmade touches. This morning, I came across a Intimate Weddings blog article that immediately brought this event back to my mind.
The article discussed the inclusion of your friends and family in your do-it-yourself wedding plans; including potential pros, cons, and ideas for how to do so. Of course, when rattling off the benefits of do-it-yourself projects, gathering the help of friends and family is one that typically makes the list. Sure, these fun, helpful, friendly gatherings are mentioned quite a few times throughout LCI’s blog, though they are never discussed in detail; hence the reason this article caught my attention.
Besides the typical “because it is fun,” the article immediately mentions four compelling reasons to involve your friends and family in your DIY wedding:
. . .Having friends and family help you will not only make everyone feel a part of your big day, it will add a personal touch to your wedding, and leave less work for you. There’s one more perk: A DIY wedding will save you oodles of money!
The author goes on to mention specific ways she utilized the help of her friends and family in her wedding; a sister-in-law who created invitations and place cards, a mother who took charge of all floral details, an aunt who sewed the ring bearer pillow, and a friend to capture the memories on video. Recalling my friend's custom event, I had no doubt that it was the blend of her family's insight, creativity, and talent that truly shaped her wedding into the personal event that it was. Following the event, she informed me that she enjoyed being able to bounce ideas off of her sister, aunt, and mother-in-law, and that getting together with them to create these details were the high points of her preparation.
Processing this idea, I began to wonder whether my own family members would be helpful in planning an extensive do-it-yourself wedding (not that I am getting married any time soon . . .). Could my kindergarten teaching, insurance adjusting sisters, and my business savvy step mother help me pull together such a custom, fitting, event? I think so. Though none of us could be deemed overly artistic or creative, the reality of it is, they probably know me as well as I do. Going on this, they would be helpful in searching for, discovering, and creating (or purchasing) precisely what I was after. In addition, they would keep me in line if the stress of planning a wedding turned me into the edgy, high strung, nail biting version of myself that I admittedly become.
However, involving friends and family is not the best choice for everyone, the author goes on to discuss. For example, those in quest of a "perfect wedding" may feel that involving friends and family will be detrimental to their planning process. Those who have a firm opinion on what they want may feel that including others only leads to loss of control, and therefore additional stress, not less.
If you do decide that including your loved ones in your do-it-yourself wedding is for you, the following suggestions on just how to do so are offered:
* Decorating wedding venue
* Creating/mailing invitations
* Driving you to church/and or reception
* Taking photographs
* Videotaping wedding
* Readings in church
* Cooking the meal
* Creating appetizers/desserts
* Making the wedding cake
* Creating centerpieces
* Wrapping favors
* Creating boutonnières, corsages
* Making name cards
* Operating sound equipment, including Ipod and DIY photo download station
* Creating bridesmaids/flower girl dresses
* Acting as a wedding co-coordinator on your big day
* Returning tuxes
* Help cleaning up
* Returning rental chairs and tables etc.
Friends and family will most likely be ready and willing to help, whether they offer, or you ask. Adding their insight, talent, or creativity into your event may be the best planning decision you make. Yet it is important to keep in mind the following final suggestion:
If you’ve decided to involve loved ones, the best way to avoid disappointment is to be specific about what you want. Unless you are the laid-back type that just goes with the flow, it’s best to be clear about your ideas so there is no room for misinterpretation (and disappointment.)
Recommended Link:
Wedding Planning Stress? Take Some Time Off for Yourself
Kristen Desrosier
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Some examples of friends and family pitching in to help:
* My former intern was our videographer and her friend was our photographer.
* We did not have to hire a DJ or rent a sound system, as three of my friends (who are capable DJs) took turns using audio equipment that I brought from home.
* My mother, my wife, and my wife's mother and sister bought all the decorations, and on the wedding day, lots of friends and family came early to decorate.
* The maid of honor bought the fabric for our tablecloths.
* And finally, the biggest money saver: Our good friends hosted our wedding at their country home.